Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

02-28-09: spanish homework

Married To The Sea comic: spanish homework * Text: hey look back up at number 3 you want to use avergonzada you put yo estoy embarazada you better goddamn not be embarazada julie because yo no quero ser a fuckin abuela at thirty nine.

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02-27-09: get a scholarship

Married To The Sea comic: get a scholarship * Text: oh youre right your right hand is a little bigger that's good though you can get a scholarship for that

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02-26-09: the most illegal thing

Married To The Sea comic: the most illegal thing * Text: am i allowed to tap into phone conversations are you kidding me that's like the most illegal think you can do if i wanted to listen in on people without a signed warrant id have to get both congress and the president to agree to that that's how illegal it is.

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02-25-09: book report on the dictionary

Married To The Sea comic: book report on the dictionary * Text: in conclusion i think the dictionary is a great book for everyone and i was surprised how many cusses were in it five stars out of five

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02-24-09: being in a gang

Married To The Sea comic: being in a gang * Text: look at that train go isnt that more fun than being in a gang i thought we talked about this last week grandpa the decimators are a soccer team

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02-23-09: mortgage industry

Married To The Sea comic: mortgage industry * Text: what if we added another zero here then we'd make ten times as much money what this is the mortgage industry you cant just go adding zeros to numbers like that you have to carefully add it on a typewriter make a copy and trash the original

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02-22-09: traffic was horrible

Married To The Sea comic: traffic was horrible * Text: phew made it here with four seconds to spare you hit that wreck north of here ha no i bike to work after an hour of uncomfortable sweaty pedaling coming into this place doesnt seem so bad

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02-21-09: poultice dealer

Married To The Sea comic: poultice dealer * Text: its a god poultice man his brother brings it in from venice or some shit you smell that daaaamn we are gonna get super healed tonight bro okay its ready i know youre cool but new guy, you gotta apply some poultice with me so i can make sure youre not a cop

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02-20-09: the tomwich

Married To The Sea comic: the tomwich * Text: gotta give you credit tom this sandwich isnt bad they oughta call it the tomwich then when we go out for lunch you dont have to spend fifteen minutes specifying the exact proportions and placement of all the ingredients you can just say gimme a six inch tomwich

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02-19-09: makeout therapy

Married To The Sea comic: makeout therapy * Text: eager to help a child in distress parents would often allow their doctor to perform makeout therapy on young children the practice was commonplace until late into the 19th century.

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02-18-09: see a real doctor

Married To The Sea comic: see a real doctor * Text: oooh this isn't looking good at all you definitely need to see a real doctor.

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02-17-09: advil technologist

Married To The Sea comic: advil technologist * Text: 125% ibuprofen that's impossible unless could this be the best advil ever?

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02-16-09: gonna make you sweat

Married To The Sea comic: gonna make you sweat * Text: orderlies begin the process the patient shall have the sickness drawn out by the heat of the flames we gonna make him sweat while popular for a short time other treatments overtook sweating out the sickness ad the C&C medicine factory eventually closed its doors in the late 15th century

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02-15-09: start shredding

Married To The Sea comic: start shredding * Text: come on douglas shred a little wipe that stupid look off your face i'm gonna start shooting that snowshoe chick if you don't step it up look at her she is shredding like the IRS is outside.

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02-14-09: giant check

Married To The Sea comic: giant check * Text: hey look someones getting a giant check they're coming this way harold that check has our names on it what on earth did we win

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02-13-09: floppy head syndrome

Married To The Sea comic: floppy head syndrome * Text: your pulse is normal list your head and let me check your jaw i cannot lift my head at all doctormost interesting you may have floppy head syndrome have you spent any time around newborn babies you may have contracted it from one of them

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02-12-09: drug abuse renaissance education

Married To The Sea comic: drug abuse renaissance education * Text: what are you injecting no damned junkies no pull it out damn you ha ha too late my friend now you are addicted to crack

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02-11-09: modern medicine

Married To The Sea comic: modern medicine * Text: nope theyre still refusing coverage for your transplant youre gonna have to let us take the kidney back

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02-10-09: caterers at work

Married To The Sea comic: caterers at work * Text: hey excuse me you guys taste any of this before setting it out on the sterno um no youre not supposed to be tasting it either ma'am it's for your guests.

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02-09-09: virgin sweat

Married To The Sea comic: virgin sweat * Text: i wish virgin sweat didnt cure the plague

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02-08-09: sealed off empty room

Married To The Sea comic: sealed off empty room * Text: your plans look good julie i think were about ready to start building your house this one big empty room though there aren't any  doors to connect it to the rest of the house where should we add one oh we dont want a door going there that room is why we are doing a custom build actually we simply cant find an existing house with six hundred feet of completely wasted space its gonna be way bigger than any of my friends sealed-off empty rooms

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02-07-09: barrow

Married To The Sea comic: barrow * Text: what the fuck is a barrow

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02-06-09: neckerciser pro

Married To The Sea comic: neckerciser pro * Text: maam i am certain that the neckercizer pro will deliver results perhaps you have not seen the advertisements but it comes with the endorsement of over a dozen neck specialists perhaps you should have read the october issue of physician direct magazine

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02-05-09: a grand adventure

Married To The Sea comic: a grand adventure * Text: dont be so sad bradford think of all the great things your eye is going to see when its in mr craggs head it'll be a grand adventure for that old eye of yours

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02-04-09: the hyperbinder

Married To The Sea comic: the hyperbinder * Text: wish i had a way to keep all these binders together a big binder for binders holy shit is this my million dollar idea my one chance to make it big and i waste it by thinking of the hyperbinder god damnit

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02-03-09: thanks hon

Married To The Sea comic: thanks hon * Text: okay five foot three got it ill take care of that this afternoon dave thanks hon earnings report realdoll for dave head type 4 blonde helmet hair black skirt white blouse big polka dot bow five foot three wait what the hell

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02-02-09: trash sledding

Married To The Sea comic: trash sledding * Text: you kids are gonna love this i used to go trash sledding when i was your age grandpa you ready on the count of 3

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02-01-09: using a lifeline

Married To The Sea comic: using a lifeline * Text: come on joe what the hells taking you so long gimme just a minute christ almighty im gonna use one of my life lines let me call tiger woods

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec