Married To The Sea archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
Here you are, Uncle... shhhhhhh. Sip it slowly. It's some purple drank. It taste good. Now lean... there you go. That's better.
Whoa, those pictures are moving! Holy shit! Five out of five stars! Would watch again.
Here, Matthew... take a couple of sandy olives. They taste great with the sandy crabs. And when you finish your lunch, I'll cut you a piece of sandy apply pie!
LOTTERY Here you go, ma'am. It's best if you play these same numbers every week. Keep in mind what'll happen if you're watching the news and they show your numbers... you get all excited like, "oh, my numbers!" and then you remember that you forgot to come down to Fast Mart on Monday an buy your ticket. Worst feeling in the world. Take it from me. Well, here's the ticket. See you on Monday.
No need to sweat, honey! This is gonna be a puff piece. Something nice to take our viewers' minds off the war and all that. You just act natural and we'll do the rest. STOP COMMUNIST HAT? Tonight's top story: Are communists using crossing guards to spread propaganda to our children?
Heh heh. Dutch oven.
Where do I see myself in five years? Right now, I'm seeing myself in your office... standing over your body, revolver in hand... I pull my resume out of your filing cabinet, slowly crumple it, and drop it onto your mangled corpse. Then I'm like "Vacation approved!" as I walk out the door. Could be as soon as three years. You never know.
Buy the print at Sharing Machine!
B/W print, 8.5"x11" on heavy cardstock. Order today, ships tomorrow.
You know anything good? I like pretty much everything... well, everything except country and ragtime.
Life's easy, huh, dog? Hang out, eat some leftovers, run around, pant, hump a little... no washing, no cooking. But, hey, at least we look like God. That helps.
WINNER: Nobel Prize in Physics, 2014 Theodore Rasmussen Rasmussen worked for two decades on alternative energy solutions, finally discovering in 2010 that dogs shit 160% of their feed mass. He is credited with solving the world's energy crisis through this discover, and dog-shit power plants now supply 97% of the world's electricity. Rasmussen is also the inventor of the PICK-M-UP, the world's first personal protection system designed to protect the user's clothes from dog-shit.
I'd always hoped I'd never have to make this call, but now, I have no other choice. 502-1100 - Coffee Guy Call me when you run out of coffee
1984: Ray Goldman, Canada's famous blind swimmer, perished while training on the Niagara River. While it was initially unknown how he failed to hear the falls as he approached, authorities later discovered a battered waterproof Walkman at the base of the falls, with a still-intact Night Ranger cassette tape inside. Mo-tor-in'! What's your price for fliiight
Keep 'er moving, Linda... you know what they say. Any job worth doing is worth doing 8,369 times a day.
Oh, no! Chicken attack! This doesn't have to happen! 40? CHICKENGUARD Write to Chickenguard, Columbus O. Specify M-L-XL.
Wrong Right RACKA- TACKA- TACKA- TACKA- TACKA-
Ignore his cries, men! This fool has brazenly ignored the Chicago Manual of Style rules concerning footnotes for too long! Aaaaah! Stop!
Buy the print at Sharing Machine!
B/W print, 8.5"x11" on heavy cardstock. Order today, ships tomorrow.
It was so nice of you to win this for me, Don! My son loves stuffed animals! I left him alone with the television for years when he was younger, and now he's all imprinted on cartoon animals. Not five minutes after I get this in the door, he's gonna cut a hole in it and hump 'till he bleeds.
Hey, folks! I'm Steven. Welcome to House Rehab! Today, we're gonna give up, tear the shit down, and build a brand new house! Follow me!
Hey! Dude! Stop casting! We're in the middle of a game. Pool's reserved for league play only until 3pm. If you wanna fish, come back at 3.
Listen, Jose, let's work something out. I can't find any fish... you can't find a bull... why don't you hook a bird up with some herring and I'll see if I can pull some strings down at the zoo. Or, you know, you could keep trying to matador me. Which has obviously been working out great so far.
Hey, dad, I'm back from the -- Whoa, didn't mean to interrupt you! I'll be in the kitchen. Oh! Didn't see you there. I'm blessing this dude. Name of the father, may you have a good harvest, amen. Yeah, well next time you wanna bless someone, can you put a scrunchie on the door or something?
Left-Hand Shake Now I know you're cool.
An apple for me? Thank you, darling! Your generosity is outstanding! I shall pay you back five-fold... Would you like a job in my factory?
ROME PARIS What's your budget like? Two thousand dollars? I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but that's only four or five Euros. Have you considered a trip within the United States? Chicago's nice this time of year... Ha, ha! No, I wasn't being serious... I usually only recommend my clients go to Chicago during the month of never.
"Mrs. Miller! The kids over there are making the computer fill up with flashing cuss words! Even the effer!" "Thank you for telling me, Matt... but they're using BASIC. That's all you can really do in that language, I'm afraid."
It's no use, Frank. We'll never beat the Chinese at table tennis. We'll never sleep ten to a bedroom, either, so chin up, buddy.
To Whom It May Concern: My pen is almost out of ink. Sincerely
Hello? This is Lisa, from the private investigator's office. We've been watching your husband for almost a month now, and as it turns out, he's simply been working late. It seemed strange to me, too, but he's been out there, ten, eleven o'clock, working with his landscaping crew. Yes, it's really the best-case scenario, and I'm glad we've been able to put your mind at ease. Uh-huh. You too. Goodbye. You almost ready, baby? I got paid today... let's hit the Doubletree.
THIS IS THE COAST GUARD! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM DOWN THERE! Did you call the coast guard?! Well, I looked for the River Guard, and there was no such thing... looked for the Wife Makes You Go Canoeing Every Stupid Weekend Guard, and didn't find anything... who else was I supposed to call? Game starts in an hour.
FOR SALE Fixer-Upper! I love the location, but we'll need to change alot... For starters, how does anyone make do with only four bedrooms? No garage... no central vacuum system? Honestly. Maybe we can get M/I to demo the whole thing and just build something new.
Married To The Sea archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
