Superpoop: 2014
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

11-30-08: range balls

Married To The Sea comic: range balls * Text: yes! another hole-in-yard! I'm glad I stole these range balls.

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11-29-08: no longer eligible

Married To The Sea comic: no longer eligible * Text: got some bad news for you, kiddo. I've got your permanent file here. You remember when that bus driver wrote you up in 1985? Yep, it's in here. I'm afraid you're no longer eligible for college.

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11-28-08: breaking our ankles

Married To The Sea comic: breaking our ankles * Text: then, click this strap down nice and tight. like this... until it won't close any further. okay, got it. this keep us from breaking our ankles on the slope, right? no, but the closed circuit tape I got of me telling you to tighten your boots keep syou from suing me if you do.

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11-27-08: help him grow

Married To The Sea comic: help him grow * Text: if your baby were younger, ma'am, we could probably give him a solution of vitamins to help him grow... but I'm afraid there's not much we can do if he's already sixteen years old.

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11-26-08: hooting and hollering

Married To The Sea comic: hooting and hollering * Text: activist judges... you'll pay for this hooting hollering legalized

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11-25-08: new macintosh

Married To The Sea comic: new macintosh * Text: 6 october 1986 typing is easy enough on this computer, and I can store hundreds of files on diskettes. once I figure out how to turn on the color, I'll be in business. 8 october 1986 just called the salesman. there's no color? how did I get tricked into spending two thousand dollars on a black and white computer? the guy even told me to buy some of this apple computer stock. I told him, well, I may look stupid, but I wasn't born yesterday, mister! honestly. well time to play some solitaire. 9 october 1986 no solitaire.

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11-24-08: roman jenga

Married To The Sea comic: roman jenga * Text: this is not how jengo is played, claudius! the blocks are stacked three by three, and we take turns. Silence! We will play the game as my father caligula taught me... you stack up the blocks, you knock them over, and then you turn your sisters out.

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11-23-08: little league big milf

Married To The Sea comic: little league big milf * Text: you little shits quiet down! maybe I'd be able to show you how to swing a bat if your pitcher understood what I mean when I say slower. pitcher! pitcher! slower, asshole! you're lucky you gotta milf or I wouldn't put up with your shit!

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11-22-08: polite to canadians

Married To The Sea comic: polite to canadians * Text: ow! off! get off! let me skate, dick! fight me, halford? come on! you think people come here to watch us skate around?! if you wanna be polite to canadians, go get pulled over in manitoba.

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11-21-08: tellin people to exercise

Married To The Sea comic: tellin people to exercise * Text: I'm always tellin' people to go exercise. can't stand the thing myself, but they like to feel they're doing something to improve their bodies. wrecks the hell out of your joints, but hey, it keeps 'em happy. that's the most important thing. dad, I can't breathe! can we take a break?! can't stop now, son. doctor says we'll die.

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11-20-08: two bathrooms

Married To The Sea comic: two bathrooms * Text: two bath-rooms? who drew up these plans? a man can only take one bath at a time... if this is not the draftsman's error, it is an error of humanity, to be punished by god. lord have mercy.

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11-19-08: sail boat propeller fishing

Married To The Sea comic: sail boat propeller fishing * Text: sail-boat-propeller-fishing was lucrative at first, but as the money in the field driedup, milton e. hiramflewnixon and his business partner portugal q. improbability began to make a living as spammers

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11-18-08: bagpipe relief fund

Married To The Sea comic: bagpipe relief fund * Text: boys! put down your babpipes! I've got some delicious soup for you! I'm from the red cross bagpipe relief fund... you need suffer no longer.

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11-17-08: members only

Married To The Sea comic: members only * Text: forty-fifteen. my serve... wait. hold on. you! hey, you! outta here! this court is for members only.

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11-16-08: shitty attitude

Married To The Sea comic: shitty attitude * Text: the can't fire me just for coming in late repeatedly! how do they think they're gonna find another manual laborer with a shitty attitude?!

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11-15-08: lost in the woods

Married To The Sea comic: lost in the woods * Text: you don't know where we are? let me see the map... ah, I know what's wrong. this isn't a map of our area at all... you've been trying to navigate using a foldout ad from field & stream.

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11-14-08: bored of aerobics

Married To The Sea comic: bored of aerobics * Text: six, seven, ei- hey what happened to my workout? best I can tell is that the darn thing got so bored of aerobics that it blew itself out. your best bet would be to get some good tapes... you know... like willow. something exciting... magical.

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11-13-08: all the humors

Married To The Sea comic: all the humors * Text: yep, your yellow humor's totally outta whack. this is gonna be expensive... you oughta pick up an extended warranty on your way out. covers all the humors.

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11-12-08: treat hunting

Married To The Sea comic: treat hunting * Text: some fox-hunters quit the sport entirely when the practice of fox hunting was banned several years ago. others, though, responded to the branding of their hobby as

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11-11-08: le consumeriste

Married To The Sea comic: le consumeriste * Text: what do you mean you want to see my receipt? you were standing right here when I bought... listen, do you wanna end up on le consumeriste?

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11-10-08: toxic sea spiders

Married To The Sea comic: toxic sea spiders * Text: thanks be to providence! a bountiful catch of north american toxic sea spiders! uh, I mean lobsters.

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11-09-08: blow up a satellite

Married To The Sea comic: blow up a satellite * Text: look up... keep going... you see that? all those pretty lights? I had my boys back home blow up a satellite for you. happy birthday. oh, it's so pretty! and you're so sweet! thanks, joseph! don't thank me... thank the strategic defense initiative.

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11-08-08: uncontacted tribe

Married To The Sea comic: uncontacted tribe * Text: jenkins, reverse the flaps! turn off the engine! the natives are looking at us! oh, the are looking! this is terrible! we have contacted the last uncontacted tribe in the world! ah, great. more of these fuckers. ignore 'em, guys... if you make eye contact, they're gonna come down and start givin' us soda bottles and bein' like, oh, we come from far away, blah blah. I mean, no shit? You guys didn't walk to our island from your island? Well, you coulda fooled me.

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11-07-08: about seventy

Married To The Sea comic: about seventy * Text: You wanna grab a beer when we're done today, Thomas? No... I wanna grab about seventy beers when we're done today.

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11-06-08: let me buy it

Married To The Sea comic: let me buy it * Text: boy! I like your hoop... le tme purchase it. I will give you five shillings. No? Ten shillings, then. Ten! What say you! Still no? How about a large package of mortgage-based securities?

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11-05-08: peace american style

Married To The Sea comic: peace american style * Text: this? you want this olive branch? do you? you're gonna have to fight me for it.

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11-04-08: latte sipping libertines

Married To The Sea comic: latte sipping libertines * Text: go get off my carriage you should not expect to ride again, either. miss! we h ave no room for latte-sipping libertines like yourself. good day!

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11-03-08: staring problem

Married To The Sea comic: staring problem * Text: we're glad to have you heather. this is my assistant, don. he's ah... staring problem? yeah. you're familiar with that? it's co-morbid with my being hot syndrome.

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11-02-08: finally the whole set

Married To The Sea comic: finally the whole set * Text: got three-five, who'll give me four? going once... going twice... sold! princess diana nip-slip sold to the man getting a haircut. yesss....I already got charles, william, and harry, so this completes the set.

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11-01-08: fill in the right one

Married To The Sea comic: fill in the right one * Text: ugh, can't believe i forgot who it was... I'm just gonna put iraq. someone'll fill in the right one later.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec