Superpoop: 2014
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

09-30-07: old lady efficiency

Married To The Sea comic: old lady efficiency * Text: 

- - - Final Tabulations - - -


(12318) Checks Written At Grocery Store (Slowly): 4 min


(31420) Times Paused Unnecessarily At Stoplight: 1 min


(976) Items Returned To Store For Bad/No Reason: 12 min


(522) Unnecessary Chats With Mailman: 7 min


Total Time Wasted: 1602.1333 hrs (66.7556 days)


Old Lady Efficiency Rating: 61.2222%

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09-29-07: emu

Married To The Sea comic: emu * Text: 

He was an

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09-28-07: snowmobile

Married To The Sea comic: snowmobile * Text: 

All right. I'll ring your husband momentarily.


Shit, my snowmobile is ringing.

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09-27-07: wheelchair ramping

Married To The Sea comic: wheelchair ramping * Text: 

Your baby is completely healthy, Mrs. Jenkins. I'd say you'll be able to get back to your wheelchair ramping in four to six weeks. Until then, your wheelchair-ramping videos will have to do.

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09-26-07: tgiw

Married To The Sea comic: tgiw * Text: 

Thank God It's Wednesday

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09-25-07: retirement plan

Married To The Sea comic: retirement plan * Text: 

Retirement plan? Ha! I'm glad you asked! As a matter of fact, we've been in contact with a gentleman from Africa who is transferring eight million dollars into my bank account as we speak.

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09-24-07: lunch menu

Married To The Sea comic: lunch menu * Text: 

Lunch Menu, Week of September 24


Monday: Frito Pie w/ Fritos


Tuesday: Sausage Pizza


Wednesday: Frito Pizza w/ Fritos


Thursday: Salisbury Pizza


Friday: Chef's Choice


* Hamburgers will not be served

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09-23-07: extra bacon extra mayo

Married To The Sea comic: extra bacon extra mayo * Text: 

Everyone's going to be obese in thirty years?! Where'd you hear that? It doesn't sound right to me. How could everyone get fat all at once?


Anyway. Here's your burger and fries, sir. And ma'am, here's your bacon club, extra bacon, extra mayo.

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09-22-07: quit shittin

Married To The Sea comic: quit shittin * Text: 

Quit


shittin'!

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09-21-07: know what aids is

Married To The Sea comic: know what aids is * Text: 

Heeeeeyyyy! Do you know what AIDS is?


No? You don't know? That's all right...hey, listen, I live across the street from here. Do you want to see my apartment?

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09-20-07: stealin music

Married To The Sea comic: stealin music * Text: 

Stealin' music is easy!

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09-19-07: the locker chase

Married To The Sea comic: the locker chase * Text: 

61 Number 61 in the High School Book Series


The Locker Chase


A Married To The Sea Book ? $2.95 US ? $3.95 Canada


Will Janice escape the cold grasp of the lockers...or will she become one of them?

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09-18-07: penpals

Married To The Sea comic: penpals * Text: 

Okay, now down there, the flashy thing...that's the cursor. Press down the keys, no, not like that, you don't have to hit them! Just gently. Yes, there you go. Now type

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09-17-07: one forty six

Married To The Sea comic: one forty six * Text: 

All right, miss. A hundred ninety pounds.


One forty-six, doctor.


What?


My shoes are twenty pounds each.

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09-16-07: bowling ball

Married To The Sea comic: bowling ball * Text: 

Noooo!


My only bowling ball!

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09-15-07: globemaster

Married To The Sea comic: globemaster * Text: 

Globemaster


Joined: Mar 23, 1988


2614 posts


Yeah, you're gonna want an EduGlobe 30

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09-14-07: this or the car

Married To The Sea comic: this or the car * Text: 

I know you want to play. But I have to go to work. You're only going to have to play by yourself for about nine and a half hours, then I'll be back.


Well, it's either this, or the hot car. Your choice.

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09-13-07: ow my ear

Married To The Sea comic: ow my ear * Text: 

OW MY HEAD


Ow! My ear!

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09-12-07: infant sign language

Married To The Sea comic: infant sign language * Text: 

INFANT SIGN LANGUAGE

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09-11-07: graduation present

Married To The Sea comic: graduation present * Text: 

Thanks, mom! Oh, what can it be? A bracelet? A watch? A necklace? I can't wait to find out. You see, I just found out that I'm now $81,000 in debt to the educational-banking complex. I'm glad to have something pretty before I begin my new life of endless white-collar toil.

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09-10-07: appeal your grade

Married To The Sea comic: appeal your grade * Text: 

You want to appeal your grade? Okay. You have two options. One is to go back in time and write papers that don't blow. The other option involves three hundred bucks.

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09-09-07: photoshop version crap

Married To The Sea comic: photoshop version crap * Text: 

Photoshop v0.3


PLEASE TURN DISC OVER AND PRESS SPACE BAR

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09-08-07: butterfly knife

Married To The Sea comic: butterfly knife * Text: 

Here's your meal. If there's anythign else you need, let me know.


All right. Uh...how about you give my butterfly knife and zippo back?

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09-07-07: seans birthday party

Married To The Sea comic: seans birthday party * Text: 

You're invited!


Sean's Fifth Birthday Party is going to be his last! Come celebrate the end of his cuteness with ice cream and cake. Sean's house, 4pm.

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09-06-07: grain farming

Married To The Sea comic: grain farming * Text: 

I take that Omega-3, man. It keeps me more...


Grain farming.


Yeah. More grain farming.

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09-05-07: homophobic senator

Married To The Sea comic: homophobic senator * Text: 

Welcome to...Washington, D.C.


Over 12 days since last homophobic senator turned out to be gay

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09-04-07: go get foot

Married To The Sea comic: go get foot * Text: 

TO-DO LIST


go get foot out of the thresher.

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09-03-07: more than meets

Married To The Sea comic: more than meets * Text: 

Hello. I'm calling to inquire about a possible internship with your company. Do you have any intern positions available?


Yes, but I'm afraid we just have one position, and it requires that you have a comprehensive knowledge of Transformers, the children's toy.


I'll take it! How many of my Transformers should I bring?

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09-02-07: austins fish

Married To The Sea comic: austins fish * Text: 

Hey, Austin! I like your goldfish. Look at that little guy swim! Ha! Fish are great, aren't they, buddy?


Have you ever teabagged a fish, Austin?

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09-01-07: cash croppin in kentucky

Married To The Sea comic: cash croppin in kentucky * Text: 

Once the corn grows out a touch, you can go around and pull up the weeds you find. But make sure you don't pull up the tall, smelly plants, if you see any of those. They're a sign from God that it's okay to be a farmer, and he will be very, very mad if you take any of them from the ground.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec