Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec

Law of the Lamb Persuant to 41 USC 559(c), all lambs get cut up and put into gyros. With cucumber-yogurt sauce.

law of the lamb
07-31-06

law of the lamb
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John, you can take that sheet off your face. There are no monsters in your leg. Just an old bee-hive.

leg monsters
07-30-06

leg monsters
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You must touch your booty hole every 108 minutes or something bad will happen

booty hole
07-29-06

booty hole
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PEARS in a can You can eat them

pears in a can
07-28-06

pears in a can
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You'll have to do this for an hour each day, or else your blood pressure will never come down. But it doesn't have to be me, necessarily, you can put any doctor up on a tilted table and it'll work.

tilt therapy
07-27-06

tilt therapy
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Oh god, I know! My supervisor is such an ass too. He's standing like...four feet away. No, maybe...six geet. doot doot doo-doot doo doo-doo-doot doo-doot doot-doo doot doot doot

telegraph chat
07-26-06

telegraph chat
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See, I told you guys. When you get a wrestling call make sure to arrive as soon as possible, so you can get there in time to watch a dude get his neck snapped.

wrestling angels
07-25-06

wrestling angels
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Say it. Why? It's not as if it'll mean anything if I do. Go on! Say it, ass! Fine. Last night, I did bestiality. With a horse! With a horse.

with a horse
07-24-06

with a horse
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Yeah, well, I mean, if you stopped me on the street, I'd definitely say that I primarily purchase food based on taste rather than value. But, this is my studio, and I didn't invite you here. Was the gate locked?

food survey
07-23-06

food survey
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Oh man, really? I, uh, I have a Flickr page too, actually. Do you! Well, give me your user name! I'll go see your photos. It's, well. You know, it sounds funny when you say it out loud, but it's ultimateshitter. Well, then! I'll have a go at your photos, Ultimate Shitter! I don't, uh...I don't think you want to see them.

ultimate shitter
07-22-06

ultimate shitter
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No! You asses! MY left, YOUR right! Work harder! It must be perfect! Sigh. My sweet sixteen party is starting to look like a disaster.

sweet sixteen
07-21-06

sweet sixteen
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Yes, yes, we see the cutaway, Phillip, we see how it is assembled, very good. However, we do not feel that Phillip's Chastity Helmet is the next great American invention.

philips chastity helmet
07-20-06

philips chastity helmet
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Did you see the last episode of Emperor's Preferred National Reality Show? Negative, dude. Been practicing the sheng all weekend. Aaaallllllll weekend.

sheng practice
07-19-06

sheng practice
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Dr. Williamson, phone call from the Sphinx on line 2. He says it's urgent...something about walking on three legs at night.

sphinx
07-18-06

sphinx
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Captain! The Union has covered their boat in metal too! What should we do? Does she appear to have any weaknesses? Nay, captain. She does have a swimming pool on deck, though. With... ah... well, from here, it looks like a diving board. And a couple of pool noodles.

monitor and merrimac
07-17-06

monitor and merrimac
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Loosen Your Anus For HEALTH Strength and Vitality

loosen your anus
07-16-06

loosen your anus
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This had better not be like that X-Files where the guy gets his eye pulled out. Jesus. Do you know the one I'm talking about? God. Gross. Just thinking about anything in my eye... ugh. So... have you ever heard of furry?

furry
07-15-06

furry
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Do you think they'll let us into prom, bear? Sure they will. Rarr rar rar rar, lookit me, I live in a subdivision! Rar rarrr rarr rar I'm an Amerrrrrrican.

bear prom
07-14-06

bear prom
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No, it doesn't feel like you've got a fever. And if you did, what do you think we'd do? Send you to the emergency room and tape you to a computer? Do you even know what year this is?

fever computer
07-13-06

fever computer
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AWARD WINNING DETECTIVE HORSE! Congratulations, Detective Horse! You found that horm we put on your neck last week.

award winning detective hor
07-12-06

award winning detective hor
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Beatrix... before I depart this earth... I must tell you of a great threat! They seem me rolling. Pa... Patrolling... They tryna catch me ridin dertay!

death bed confessionz
07-11-06

death bed confessionz
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You! Get over here. Why did you call me a chicken-head? Do you even know what that means? I'll let you google it later, but for now I'll say that it is absolutely not what you call a bird with a man's head.

chickenhead
07-10-06

chickenhead
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Yesssssss!! Hey! You guys! Mom got Arby's!!

arbys
07-09-06

arbys
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PHOOOOOOOOOT!!! Attention all townspeople, this is your butcher. I have just cut up some meat. I have just cut up some meat. Thank you. Butcher.

butcher
07-08-06

butcher
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PEARS Oh my god, you guys! Have you ever tried pears?

pears
07-07-06

pears
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Yes, it is quite the sight, Sally! Those are some beautiful colors. But I don't agree with you that this is better than opium.

better than opium
07-06-06

better than opium
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Anastasia, I'm sorry, but the answer is no. We just don't feel that the Beemaker 2000 is the next great American invention.

beemaker 2000
07-05-06

beemaker 2000
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I wish we were in Animal Crossing right now. I could really use another axe in Animal Crossing. Oh, you gonna scalp some animals? Jesus, dude, no. You just use it to cut down trees. Are you kidding me? No. It's a peaceful game, you just buy and sell things, and grow fruits and vegetables. How much would this gun go for in Animal Crossing? It's... Okay, uh, you gun... um, probably about... a hundred million bells. YES!!! My gun rules!

animal crossing
07-04-06

animal crossing
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WHO TOOK MY SOLAR PLEXUS?????

solar plexus
07-03-06

solar plexus
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Well, they're opening a new internet cafe in Mumbai. You can do e-mails, the web... play flash games... everything. I mean, yeah, I could have taken a bus there, but that doesn't exactly show my devotion, does it? I love that damn Yahoo Games. For real.

yahoo games
07-02-06

yahoo games
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What? Wait. You wanted me to do what? I think you're going to have to do that yourself. Sorry.

churn it up
07-01-06

churn it up
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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec